


The Music of Eric Bittle

by jjuu1l



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 04:56:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7921345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjuu1l/pseuds/jjuu1l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Eric Bittle is a great liar. His music tastes are not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Music of Eric Bittle

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the great @hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i 's post that I have to link when i get off my laptop because parental lock doesn't let me get on tumblr! I hope you enjoy.

The thing most people didn’t know about Eric ‘Bitty’ Bittle was that he was an excellent liar. You didn’t get through high-school, and then through most of your life closeted without becoming good at stretching the truth. Unfortunately, he was prone to expressing himself in other ways like through his music. So when his little tiny itty bitty crush on Jack started it wasn’t that hard to pretend that everything was still platonic. It was definitely hard to pretend but not impossible.

What was impossible was the fact that Jack never seemed to be interested in anyone. Like ever. This fact should’ve made Eric happy, he’d never have to deal with seeing his straight crush with a woman. But it didn’t make him happy, if anything it pissed him off. This irresistible piece of Canadian-hockey-loving-completely-gorgeous-asshole didn’t seem to have the decency to date another person so that Eric might have a fraction of a chance to move on.

Something that helped him deal with these feelings that refused to leave was music. Music generally helped everything but this extra helped. Of course at first no one actually noticed the extra music. The Haus was usually too loud for anyone to comment on his choice of Selena Gomez’s Love Like A Love Song or the occasional Taylor Swift love song. It’s when he starts passively baking at three in the morning to Bad Blood and Dizzy by The Goo Goo Dolls that Ransom and Holster begin to worry. Ransom is the first to notice and brings it up with Holster at their bi-weekly relaxation day.

“I don’t know, maybe Bitty's stressed about midterms.” Holster replies as they enter a local spa clinic they’d wanted to try for the last couple of weeks. Ransom nodded because everyone seemed to be under a lot of stress about finals. Especially Shitty, with his first semester as a senior year coming to an end. Lardo was always ordering him to sleep or eat or bathe or whatever he’d neglected to do that day/week.

“That could be it but dude I’m so not convinced. Just keep an ear out for what he’s listening too. Then tell me it isn’t like that time in freshman year when he started hardcore crushing on the lacrosse player from in his dorm.” With a prominent eye roll Holster agreed, then he turned to the receptionist and checked them both in.

 

A week later was when Holster began to agree that there was more to this music change than just midterms stress. For one there appeared to be many more late-night baking sessions. As pies started miraculously appearing on any and all available table spaces in the Haus. Some of the frogs didn’t see a problem with this as they all seemed to disappear as soon as they’d appeared. Anyone who’d spent more than a few years with Bitty but; yet knew this wasn’t the normal baking sprees he went on. Those usually appeared after huge tests, birthdays, and all the others types of celebrations. The ones that usually didn’t warrant an entire kegster.

So all these pies, turnovers, and pastries (while always enjoyed and eaten to the last crumb) were a sign that something wasn’t right. Lardo was the first to approach Bitty about it. For the most part he denied any kind of involvement in this mysterious pastry making, but the bags under his eyes and flour always powdered into his hair call his bluff. For then however Lardo leaves him alone, maybe she senses his general heartbroken mood or she’s sympathetic. Jack wasn’t the only senior to leave this year anyways, so she had her own confessions to worry about.

The second people to corner Bitty were a bit more productive about their approach. In fact, they were so productive they managed to catch Bitty when he was vulnerable. Also known as when he was absolutely shitfaced. He’d gone to some party hosted by a girl who was a fellow vlogger at Samswell who crazily enough was also queer. Although Bitty hadn’t exactly elaborated on a label more specific than that. So when she came into the Haus with an extremely drunk Bitty attached to her hip Holster and Ransom saw their chance.

“Come on! Eric I swear to whatever is making you act this way-“

“I think it could-a been the whiskey, or maybe the vodka.” He interrupted with spot on stereotypical-bad southern accent. “But I only had one drink, or maybe that was just one cup. How many cups did I have tonight Kate?” he asked and the girl holding him up groaned like he’d just made a horrible joke.

That’s when Holster noticed the two of them outside the Haus. He reached over to tap on Ransom’s shoulder, when he waved him off Holster hit him a little harder.

“Fuck man what was- is that Bitty draped over that also itty bitty girl?” He forgave his friend for the rude hit as the girl struggled with Bitty’s weight. It didn’t help that he kept miming a story as if he insisted on keeping her off balance.

Then with one failed step the two of them ended up sprawled on the grass. This was when Holster and Ransom decided to intervene. Within seconds the two boys were out and helping them both up. Up close the girl with Bitty looks more intoxicated than she had from the window. Ransom let the girl lean on him for support as she readjusted her shoulder bag. Bitty was a bit more difficult to convince to get up.

“Come on Bitty we need to get you inside, and into your bed,” Holster said trying (and failing) to help his friend get up from the wet grass. Bitty wasn’t having that at all, he refused and pouted from his sprawled position on the ground. He also kept muttering to himself that he could get up when and if he wanted too.

Holster exchanged a glance with Ransom asking what he should do. Ransom shrugged his shoulders in a noncommittal response, in that moment Holster felt a great need to slug his friend for leaving him to attempt a rescue mission with their drunk roommate. After almost a half hour of goading later Bitty finally stood up, but after he was leaning on Holster no one was sure this was a better deal than him on the ground.

“Do you think it’d be scientifically possible to create unicorns?” he asked as they opened the front door of the Haus. With a great deal of trouble, the two friends got the two drunk vloggers up to Bittle’s room. They set them both down on the bed and went to get some water and Advil. Seconds before they reentered the room the topic of conversation floated out of the room, although some of it was masked by the Lady Gaga that some’d put on.

“Why are all the straight ones so easy to fall for?” Bitty asked half hanging off the bed in what resembled most drunken confessions. Ransom knew that too well after countless nights of Ransom and himself getting just drunk enough to be coherent but not enough to be able to drive, or even be able to skate.

“I dunno Eric, why do so many girls decide that having a gay best friend makes them queer experts?” she asked back leaned up against the wall next to his bed. Her eyes were closed as if she were pulling up a long forgotten memory. “Wanna listen to Hayley Kiyoko? She’s like the best to listen too when you’re questioning life.”

“Do it,” was all the highly intoxicated Bitty replied with. Moments later Gravel to Tempo started up and dual snores could be heard. Holster and Ransom exchanged glances once again.

It made sense now. The hardcore music changes, ranging from soulful Adele ballads to preppy Taylor Swift to Beyoncé. If Bitty was crushing on a straight guy, then he’d be anxious enough to make five AM pastries. Pity for the poor soul pooled in their stomachs as they left the Advil and water on Bitty’s desk, along with a sign outside his door warning of a highly hungover twosome.

 

The next morning is a strange one, especially when two highly hungover (well Ransom is almost positive this Kate girl might still be drunk) bakers invade the kitchen. By now the smell of pies is a familiar one in the Haus, no one questions the smells of apples and cinnamon at 8 in the morning. What they don’t expect is them baking together, of course Bitty’s baked with a lot of the other boys in the Haus. There was even that one time Lardo sat on the counter handing him ingredients as she talked about a bad date. The baking together thing wasn’t weird. The weird part was how in sync they were.

For every step Bitty took this Kate took a corresponding one they worked in symphony, handing each other pans and ingredients without even speaking. Although they were speaking, well a more accurate term would be singing, because playing on full blast was You Make Me Feel. The two bakers sang it loudly and vaguely off-key. With moves none of the Haus expected the two were nothing less than on fire.

When the song did end a chiming sounded from the counter. Kate danced over to what the boys hiding in the hallway assumed was her phone. Picking it up she danced back over to Bitty, who whisked some crème with vigor. Then she stopped dancing and the smile that’d been plastered over her face fell. Holster and Ransom later swore that it was like she’d dropped a glass pie pan that shattered the kitchen’s mood. Bitty picked up on her mood switch almost immediately after it happened.

“Sweetie what happened?” he asked setting down his bowl and moving over to her. She shook her head and tried to smile away his worried look.

“It’s nothing just the babe,” she replied which caused Bitty to frown and cross his arms. “I know what you’re going to say but I swear this time-“

“Kate, I think we both know your small town promises aren’t getting you out of this,” he interrupted snatching the blueberry cased phone from her hand. She let out an indignant sound as he opened it up and took a look at the text. “Kate William Clark you are not doing what I think you’re doing,”

His scolding sentence was all she needed to hear as she dived into her own defense.

“I’m not doing anything of the sort! I find it traitorous that you would even suggest some so vile,” Bitty was actively rolling his eyes so hard Holster actually winced.

“Don’t use your English Major tone with me young lady, you and I both know you're guilty of the crime.” He quipped back leaning back against the counter. The boys in the hallway had never seen Bitty this easygoing and in control, it was honestly a bit shocking.

“And what would that crime be good sir?” she mocked his words and crossed her own arms over her chest.

“You're flirting with a straight girl!” he accused pointing to her. Kate opened her mouth to refuse his accusation but nothing came out. She’d been caught red handed, or red phoned? Either way she had no way to get out of this scolding except for calling Bitty out, and call him out she did.

“Oh that’s hypocritically coming from you.” Now it was time for Bitty to be speechless, he knew he’d also been caught. There was hardly anything Kate couldn’t pick up on, especially since the two of them were so similar.

“You promised to not bring that up,” he replied almost silently going back to his whisking.

The two’s conversation ended there as their silent work took over. The two lurkers in the hallway had their own silent conversation.  
‘Did you hear that bro?’ Ransom asked by raising his eyebrows and nodding into the kitchen.

‘Of course I did! Our poor little bit’s has been acting weird!’ he replied with an intricate hand gesture before nodding into the kitchen.

‘We need to help him out.’ Ransom decided with an accompanying nod from Holster. After a few moments of silence, the two crawled out of the hallway back to the attic.

After all they had a plan to put into action.

 

There weren’t any more Drunk Bitty incidents after that but there was more Kate around the Haus. It seemed the two vloggers were now almost inseparable, and as the last few days of the semester rolled around it seemed as if Kate actually lived in the Haus rather than being best friends with Bitty. Everyone in the Haus reacted differently to Kate’s now constant presence.

Holster and Ransom constantly referred to her as the newest tadpole despite her playing for the basketball team instead of hockey. They were also the least surprised when she’d show up at any odd hour in the morning with a bottle of hard lemonade in her left hand and a laptop in the other.

“That only happened once!” She responded in her defense whenever they’d chirp her for getting their precious little Bitty totally shitfaced.

Lardo definitely had the brightest response to another girl in the Haus. Which surprised some of the frogs, almost all of them assumed she’d be jealous of the attention Kate was getting. In fact it was quite the opposite, Kate seemed to be jealous of how well Lardo got along with the boys. It wasn’t a bad jealousy, she just wished she was able to be that comfortable with everyone in the Haus.

Shitty’s reaction was very similar to Lardo’s although he did chirp Bitty for bringing his ‘girlfriend’ into the Haus. Which was his own nudge at the impossibility at the two of them never falling for one another. This also led to almost two full weeks of Kate and Bitty constantly calling each other baby, honey, and a whole assortment of pet names.

Jack was, well no one could read his reaction to Kate’s sudden appearance. He seemed to become silent whenever she entered a room or people talked about her. So really it was anyone’s guess one what he thought of the 5’4 girl who’d instantly became another fixture at the Haus. One day after a particularly long day of Creative Writing (where not only did they stereotype her favorite characters but chalked her latest idea up to a remake of another remake) Jack’s silence came to its climax.

“I swear to god almighty Eric they were actively trying to make me cry!” she complained hiding her head in her arms on the kitchen table while Bitty continued to make his daily pie.

“I’m sure that wasn’t the case Katie,” he replied using his nickname for her. She peeked through her arms and looked up at the back of his head. He always knew how to make her feel better. Even when he didn’t know how to make himself feel better.

His increasingly violent choices in music had started to worry her. For one, no one listened to Twenty-One Pilots and Fall Out Boy that much without feeling just a bit down in the dumps. Especially if that person was such a Pop fan. Once Panic! At The Disco started to play she knew she’d have to mention it too him.

In fact she was about to voice this to him when he let out an indiganant yelp. Her head shot up as she was ready to fight off some kind of attacker when she noticed the big stain he’d gotten on his shirt. Instead of the pale pink cotton she remembered him chattering on and on about it was now a murky purple blob.

“Biscuits! I’ll be right back dear I just need to change before it stains too much,” Kate had to hold in her laughter at his alternate cuss word. Who said biscuits anyway?

Nodding she watched as he ran off to upstairs. With the kitchen now empty she noticed Bitty’s music taste.

“If you love me let me Go----“

“Oh dear this has gone too far,” she turned to yell up the stairs when she ran into a giant sweaty chest. Backing up she saw the almost emotionless face that belonged to none other than Jack “1000%” Zimmerman. “Oppsy sorry about tha- Hey!” The older boy had turned around halfway through her apology already walking towards the stairs.

He turned to look back at her and found himself facing a 5’4 pure ball of fury. Now she wasn’t sure what’d prompted her to call him out. It could’ve been the attack on her characters, or her lack of Bitty around to keep her from exploding but suddenly she was very aware of the way Jack had acted around her.

“Yes-?”

“What’s the deal with you? Like really? I know it’s not that I’m a lesbian because you’ve lived with Bitty for the last two years and haven’t said anything to him. So why’re you acting like a total nugget whenever I’m in the room?” She found herself almost yelling and tried to calm herself down. But his stunned silence was only in raging her more.

“You’re a lesbian?” he asked, Kate swore in that moment she almost hit the poor oblivious idiot.

“Yeah, like 100%, I run an entire vlog about it. Hasn’t Eric shown you any of my videos?” Now she was confused. How did he think they met? And if he thought she was straight, did that mean-

“Wait a darn diddly moment. Did you think I was like dating Eric?” The fact he refused to catch her eye answered her question easily. Before long Kate found herself on the ground laughing her arse off. In between giggling she managed to chirp Jack the best she could. “Eric is literally the gayest person I know and I know myself!”

“Are we done here?” He asked a frown the only sign of emotion he let show.

“No no, sorry I just. I have like a girlfriend and shit, have you not heard me talking about her? The whole I fell for a straight girl thing Eric chirped me about for like weeks?” she asked getting back up and realizing why it was so easy for Eric to hide his crush from his roommates. Besides the fact they didn’t exactly take an interest in his dating life. But really the excess of Taylor Swift should’ve tipped them off.

Jack just shook his head. “I guess I should’ve?” Kate shook her head approving his statement. This boy sure was oblivious, even for a straight boy.

“Besides Eric’s gay I couldn’t even pay him to be my boyfriend without it being a joke,” She added watching for Jack’s reaction carefully. If he could honestly believe she was straight, then it was totally possible that she’d just re-outed Eric; although technically he was already out to everyone else.

Which proved to be a great decision, because if she hadn’t been watching him so closely she might’ve missed the micro smile that appeared and disappeared in less than second.

“Sorry I need to go shower,” he excused himself clumsily backing out of the hallway. At that moment Bitty was waltzing down the stairs.

“Kate I need you to go make sure no ants got into- Hey Jack! Into the pie filling!” he yelled down smiling surprisingly wide at his teammate. That’s when Kate realized the reason for the new music floating around the Haus.

“Gotcha!” she yelled at him knowing she’d need to get these two idiots together before second semester was out.

 

By the time they all returned from break Jack had roped together the new schedule and put them all to work. This was his last year as captain, everyone put their best skate forward. This meant that although pies kept showing up Bitty wasn’t in the kitchen as much. So instead Kate was there. She seemed to live in their kitchen by the time December rolled around. Of course she didn’t do any more baking than she used too, she was there to make sure Bitty wasn’t cooking all the time.

Surprisingly enough it was Jack that thanked her for this. It was almost 5 in the morning when she’d finally feel asleep on the kitchen table. Almost five minutes later Jack left a note for her that simply read: ‘Thanks for everything’ in surprisingly nice writing.

It was when their final game day came around a few months later that Kate’s special set of skills were used. She’d been there with her girlfriend Alice in the bleachers behind the team’s bench.

“Oh no,” By the time the game was drawing to a close the team’s spirit was drained. It showed as they skated back into the locker room. Alice managed to make Kate wait an entire five minutes before they head into the locker room for damage control. When they entered it was an entire room full of broken dreams.

Hugs were distributed. Tears were shed. And for while no one could seem to find Bitty or Jack. Then when they did Kate took one look at them and quite literally broke out into tears. The ride back to Samswell wasn’t a very bright or cheery one, but when they returned a table full of cakes were left in the kitchen. Needless to say the music stayed sad and slow for the next few days.

 

Once things started picking up everyone focused on finishing the second semester. Ransom and Holster practically locked themselves away in the attic. The two only came down for food and (this was honestly assumed) to use the bathroom. Shitty was a complete wreck until he finally settled down for a party Lardo suggested they have before Shitty had to finish his tests.

“Wow don’t you guys clean up nice,” Kate joked through her web cam. Bitty’s tablet was haphazardly set up on the kitchen as Holster and Ransom asked if she’d noticed Bitty’s absence after the big game as well. “Well yeah of course I did, remember I broke down when they came back.”

“Okay well we know this may be hard to believe-“ Ransom started.

“But we think Bitty and Jack-“ Holster continued.

“Might maybe absolutely definitely have a thing for each other?” Kate finished on a guess. The two friends nodded frantically and started to give out the information they’d gathered.

“As you see here-“ Holster was holding up a power point while Ransom pointed to some numbers that had been highlighted. “The number of times Bittle has complained about being single with Jack around, and without Jack around. As you can tell the difference is astounding, like bro it cannot even be considered funny.” Holster shook his head seriously as if to back up that statement. In that moment while Kate completely agreed that Bitty and Jack definitely had a thing, she seriously wondered if the two boys in front of her were a little high or being completely serious.

She found out that yes in fact they were completely serious; and yes also a little stoned. Yet the power point in its entirety wasn’t half bad and she had to give them credit for their creative data. Cataloging how many times Bitty had looked at Jack with heart eyes couldn’t be that easy. What she was most impressed with however was with Bitty’s moods and the corresponding music choices.

“So we know Nicki, Ariana Grande, Cher Loyd, and/or Hayley Kiyoko means he’s feeling it, like 0 to 200 and that’s usually when he calls you and then you go to the bar on sixth street-“

“Did you spy on us!”

“It’s in the name of research Kate just leave it there. Also you need to eat more fruits,”

“Holster make him get on with it,”

“Okay, okay, now sappy Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Troye Sivan, and certain Selena Gomez songs generally mean that he’s super lonely, like extremely lonely.” Holster shudders and for a minute she wonders what kind of lonely they’re talking about. Before she can ask about it Holster just gives her a look that says he definitely crossed a few lines to get this information about their favorite gay southerner. Kate doesn’t think she’s ever respected someone’s research skills so much before in her entire life. “When he’s sad its usually Panic! At The Disco or Fall Our Boy,”

“If he’s blasting Beyoncé that usually means he’s happy, unless it’s Halo, then he’s blasting it to annoy Jack. Speaking of annoying, he has entire playlists that’re dedicated to be played when he’s angry at someone. We figured that out after the Pecan Debacle of April.” At this they all shuttered, no one liked bringing up the fateful events that’d occurred that April. For the next half hour, they spent time discussing and analyzing Bitty’s music choices.

 

Before anyone knew it the spring semester was over. People were packing up their things and Holster and Ransom began the month Bitty liked to refer to as the month when they’d both been too oblivious to realize who was going to be captain, or Idiot’s month for short.

Needless to say a lot of Fall Out Boy poured from Eric Bittle’s speakers.

In a whirl wind they sped through finals and the Hockey banquet where (big surprise) the two new co-captains were elected. Rooms were packed in a matter of hours, and to Eric’s delight a new oven installed shortly before he updated his vlog. Kate showed up a little less every day until it was revealed she was doing some moving of her own.

“Alice asked me to move in!” she screeched as she ran into the Haus for the first time in days. Eric practically flew down the stairs and into her arms, he nearly crushed his friend.

“Are you serious!” He asked as they did the weird happy hug dance people did when there was good news. She nodded furiously before vividly recounting the entire ordeal.

This prompted a celebratory pie party which the other Hausmates happily complied with. That was until their favorite bakers started to act funny. Before anyone knew what was happening the two were starring wide eyed at the ceiling talking about the deeper meaning behind cake crust.

It was then that Shitty remembered that some other students might’ve messed with the flour and some more illegal looking ‘flour’. This caused a chorus of groans to be emitted from everyone who’d been expecting pie. Begrudgingly as the next captains, Holster and Ransom were put in charge of the now fairly high baked bakers.

“Dude I think I’m going to ask Alice to marry me,” Kate announced after Bitty broke out into yet another fit of giggles.

“That’s so romantic, Darling you should definitely do it! I mean you’ve only been dating for like three months but still.” That’s when Kate’s face turned unreasonably red. The two sober boys could already tell this was going to be interesting. Even more than that early conversation so many months ago.

“Well it’s been a bit longer than just a few months.” This caused a comically loud gasp to come from Bitty as he rolled onto his stomach to face his friend.

“You’re kidding me,” He accused his accent growing more and more southern. Holster genuinely believed at any time the small boy was going to start yelling howdy and get picked up by a horse.

“Nope, remember when you chirped me about my ‘straight girl’ addiction? Well really you could categorize it as a ‘closeted girl’ addiction. All those different girls I talked about were all Alice.” The two sober boys had to hold back their own gasps and laughs. Kate could barely lie yet here she was keeping the biggest secret they’d ever heard about.

“Woah, that’s like crazy sweetheart.” Then the topic changed to the rainbow being cast from a crystal onto the wall.

It was needless to say but after that incident no one was allowed near the kitchen with anything that closely resembled flour again.

 

When graduation day finally rolled around Bitty felt as if he’d chugged an entire bottle of milk. He barely managed to keep from getting violently sick that morning, and Kate’s own nervous chatter did little to help him out. Today was probably the last day he’d get to spend with Jack. Well not the last but certainly the last he’d be able to be this close to him.

The minutes seem to drag on as they all arrive and take their seats to watch Jack and Shitty graduate. This changed as the ceremony started and suddenly it was over. Jack and Shitty had officially graduated. There wasn’t going to be any more, early morning checking practices or helping him with baking. This was the end of era.

The small group of friends searched for Jack and Shitty. Weaving and ducking they searched for their now ex-teammates. Suddenly someone reached out and intersected Bitty on his search for that all too familiar Canadian.

“Eric! Can you believe Alice’s officially a college graduate?” Kate asked with too much enthusiasm for someone that she wasn’t going to go to school with anymore. The shorter girl had one arm around her taller girlfriend and one hanging onto Eric’s arm. He wanted to just ignore her and find Jack, but he’d spent too long trying to get out of his comfort zone to just abandon his friend now. But before he had the chance to respond Alice stepped in.

“Tesoro, why don’t we go celebrate with my parents? I think Eric here has a different Graduate he wants to talk too,” He gave her a grateful smile as Kate’s attention was immediately shifted. The older girl just smiled and waved him away. As he turned away he did hear Alice call out something else to him. “You better visit!” He turned back around and yelled back that he would.

After several minutes of searching Bitty pulls out his phone determined to find Jack. Sending out a text to Lardo he starts to scroll through his Instagram feed.

“You’re still hanging around? Or didn’t we post enough selfies?” Bitty turned and finally found Jack, without looking he sends Lardo another text to say he’s found Jack.

They talk and Bitty almost does it. Bitty almost confesses his feelings for Jack, they’re right on the tip of his tongue yet as he pulls away from their hug he finds he can’t find the strength to be rejected. In those last few moments with Jack he realizes why it’s so easy for people to admire from a far. Or why Kate had always gone after the ‘straight’ ones, because if you pined after what you’d never had then you’d never miss it. Then again Kate’s straight girl turned out to be not so straight so maybe that was just a loud of cheap melting chocolates.

Next thing he knew he was walking back to the Haus. It was easy now that he wasn’t in public to let the tears fall. Bitty let the tears fall easily as he entered the Haus and then Jack- no Chowder’s room. He started to pack when Halo started playing, and goodness gracious wasn’t this just irony at work. So with a less heavy heart (because really it was a sin to not listen to the goddess Beyoncé and not feel better) he began to sing along to her soulful words.

So really it’s not his fault when he can’t hear the front door slam and the heavy stomping as Jack runs up the stairs.

 

The summer of Bitty’s junior year passes by too quickly for his own taste. From his constant late night skype calls to his impromptu road trip with some of his friends the summer just goes by in the blink of an eye. It’s a whirlwind in his stomach to be back at Samwell, but a happy whirlwind all the same. By the third day back he’s already made too many pies to count, and Kate’s become a constant in the Haus again despite now having her own shared apartment.

“Eric do you want to collab on a vlog or something? I think my subscribers might like to hear about our many baking adventures,” she asks knowing full well that he’ll say yes. Eric Bittle may be a man of vlogs, but letting down his fans, his little internet family isn’t something he’d ever say no to.

“Sure, when do you wanna film it?” He asks while his phone dings for maybe the third time in the last minute. Bitty looks back at it with a faint smile before turning his attention back to Kate. That’s when he realizes that looking sweetly at his phone might be a giveaway that he’s dating someone.

Kate raises her eyebrows while following where his gaze had been. Her lips press together and Eric knows he’s screwed up, at least a little bit. They reach for the phone at the same time but Kate has always been good at snatching people’s phones.

“Who’s the special guy?” she asked trying and mostly failing to guess Eric’s password. He thanked god in those moments that he decided to keep his messages private.

“It’s no one, no person at all,” His trying to disarm the situation only made Kate that much more interested. She was able to keep the phone just out of his reach. Soon it became an all-out wrestling match between the two juniors. Before long Ransom and Holster came downstairs to figure out what all the noise was about.

When they entered the living room the old green couch was on its side and Bitty was walking around it like he expected a badger to jump out of it.

“Yo, Bitty what’re you doing bro?” Holster asked sharing a glance with Ransom. Maybe this was Bitty finally having a complete mental breakdown. They’d been betting on when it’d happen all summer.

“Why don’t you ask our dear Miss Kate?” he asked as Kate popped her head out of the other side of the couch.

“Why don’t you just tell me who you’re texting!” she yelled showing Ransom and Holster his phone screen that was now litter with different texts. They were all under the same name:

 

Babe<3<3<3:

I swear practice is much crazier than you think

Are you still there?

Eric?

 

“It is none of your business who I may or may not be texting,” he replied crossing his arms over his chest. Kate responded by rolling her eyes and moving her fingers just above his keyboard; and in that moment Ransom could swear up in down that when he looked at Bitty the literal fear of god was in his eyes. “What’re you doing?”

With a smug look that could trump Justin Bieber’s Kate replied.

“Well if you don’t want to tell me who this new boy-toy is then I’ll just have to figure it out on my own.” Her fingers pressed on a few buttons as Bitty literally hurdled himself over the couch and into Kate. The phone was pressed against her ear as the dial tone rang once, then twice. It flew out of her grip seconds after Bitty ran into her. The phone slid dramatically across the floor and underneath the overturned couch.

Both Bitty and Kate fell over with Bitty landing on top. That’s when Ransom pulled out his phone and started to record the following fight:

Hastily the two fought to get over to the phone, there was very illegal clawing in the face. It was a gaggle of knees and elbows as they fought violently for the phone. For a moment Kate had managed to subdue Bitty by yelling about how cakes were much better than pies. He let out a gasp and his hand shot to his chest.

“You, traitor!” he yelled returning full force into the fight for the phone. The volume on his phone was loud enough to hear someone say ‘Hello’ but not enough to tell who exactly was speaking. This only made the two of them fight even harder to get the phone back. Ransom and Holster were providing commentary as they fought.

“Ouch Holster, I believe that Kate is now trying to push Bitty back. Im not sure that’ll be an effective strategy with the height difference in play,”

“I agree Ransom although little Katie is trying her best I’m not sure it’ll be enough to defeat Bitty. Especially with the name of his secret lover on the line,”

“Yes and with the valuable time Katie’s losing her chance of hearing this mystery boy’s name. Wait a minute Holster I think there’s been a shocking development! Katie has successfully taken Bitty’s phone and is now on the line with this mystery Babe,”

“Let’s listen in and see what’s happening,”

Kate was precariously sitting on the edge of the couch with the phone in one hand and only holding off Bitty with her foot. By now he was desperate, so in a last ditch effort he looked her dead in the eyes and said two words.

“Macaroni Cake,” Ransom and holster turned to look at Kate, who almost dropped the phone in her surprise. She gasped as her eyes narrowed.

“You wouldn’t,” Now Bitty was smiling, he’d found his ace in the hole.

“Oh but I would,” Wordlessly she looked from the phone to him, then clicking the off button she handed over the phone. Ransom and Holster watched the exchange with interest, maybe they’d have to do some different spying in order to find out what this Macaroni Cake meant.

“I’ll find out who this mystery boy is,” she stated jumping off the couch in front of him. Almost immediately the mood changed between the two of them. Now it was much calmer and playful.

“Sure you will darling, sure,” he chirped her as the two turned into the kitchen.

 

Several nights later Kate is awoken by a call. Groggily she sits up and reaches over to answer it. She says something that resembles a greeting as Alice mumbles something about going back to bed. The other line is quiet for a few seconds and Kate almost hangs up until she hears something that perks her back up.

“It’ll only bring us closer, To the love we wanna find, It’s never felt so real, No it’s never felt so right, Just a kiss-“ Then Bitty’s singing is cut off by violent breathing and what sounds like feet hitting a wooden staircase. She waits until the voices on the other end address her.

“Did you hear that?” They ask in almost unison and Kate has to hold herself back from rolling her eyes. These hockey players really were different creatures entirely.

“That was Bitty singing country music,” Holster clarified sounding much too close to the phone for speaker phone.

“Lady Antebellum to be more specific. Kate we’re worried.” Ransom said although he sounded farther away from the phone than Holster was. There was some scuffling on their end before her phone chimed. Apparently they’d sent her some pictures. Opening up her phone she found a multitude of graphs and excel sheets printed out and hung on the attic wall.

“In the last week alone he’s been listening to an average of 10 more country songs than usual. On top of that they’re all love songs! We don’t know what’s happening to our Beyoncé loving baker.” Ransom explained as she regretted answering the phone call. Couldn’t they be oblivious at a reasonable time in the morning?

“Guys I think if you just look over your numbers a few more times you’ll know what’s happening, but until then don’t call me or Alice.” Ending on that cheery note she hung up her phone and turned to wrap her arms around Alice. They’d figure it out eventually.

 

Lying in bed Bitty sung the lyrics to a song he’d recently thought described his love life. ‘Then again’ he thought to himself as Jack’s Skype call finally came through. ‘Don’t country songs usually describe love pretty well?’

**Author's Note:**

> HERE'S THE LINK:  
> http://hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i.tumblr.com/post/149180485415/what-if-rh-have-figured-out-that-the-music-bitty


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